Forgiveness is Never Easy
by lana-ismyqueen
Summary: Collection of Regina Mills/Snow White one-shots from my prompts blog (lana-ismyqueen on Tumblr). Each chapter is a different prompt.
1. I Never Stopped

**Prompt:** **"How long has it been since you loved me?" "I never stopped." Regina/Snow**

* * *

Regina had spared Snow's life. She had the chance to end it all, to rip out and crush the heart of the woman who had been responsible for so much of Regina's pain, who had been the cause of so much heartbreak. But at the last moment, even as her fingers had wrapped around Snow White's heart, a memory had flitted into her mind. A memory of times long ago, when Snow had been nothing more than a little girl, when Regina had pulled her off that runaway horse and cradled Snow in her arms. As the memory passed through, Regina let go of Snow's heart, pulling her hand out of the woman's chest, waving her hand to heal the wound with magic. Snow had been stunned, stepping back in fear.

It was then that Regina had broken down, truly lost it. Dropping to the ground, her head in her hands, her body wracked with sobs. If her mother could have seen her, she would have been so disappointed. That thought only made her more sure that she had made the right choice, but she couldn't deny that making the right choice had hurt.

To Regina's surprise, instead of fleeing for fear that Regina would change her mind, Snow had sat down next to her, putting her hand on Regina's back, saying nothing.

That physical contact, that comforting touch had changed something, shifted a part of Regina's broken heart.

Ever since that day, things had been…different. Every couple of days, Snow would appear on Regina's doorstep. It got to the point where Regina didn't even have to let her in. She would open the door and find Regina in the same spot on the couch, staring at nothing. Snow would clean up and bring Regina food and sit with her for a while, saying nothing. Eventually she would get up and leave, and every time she was gone, Regina wondered when she would stop coming back.

Today felt like it might be the day, the day when Snow wouldn't return, and Regina would truly be alone. As she sat on the couch in the same spot as always, she looked over at the clock, noting the time, seeing something for the first time since she had watched the life drain out of her mother.

The sound of the door opening perked something up inside of Regina, but she continued to stare straight ahead of her, afraid to look up as Snow entered the room.

Snow heaved a sigh and sat down next to Regina, curling her legs under her on the couch. She stared at Regina, sensing that something was different, that somehow this day was different than all the rest. "Regina?"

"Mmm?" It was all that Regina could manage. She couldn't make her lips move, no matter how hard she tried.

"How long has it been since you loved me?" It was the question that the little girl in her had been longing to ask for such a long time, a question that Snow had been wrestling with since that day in the woods when Graham had almost carved her heart out. When she was a little girl, she had been so sure of Regina's love. After all, that was why Regina had decided to marry her father. Or, at least, that's what she had believed. Before she found out the truth, that Cora had killed Daniel to force Regina into marrying Leopold. Since then, Snow had tried to bury the question, tried not to think about it, tried to write it all of. Regina had never loved her. It was just a ploy, a trick to get her vulnerable. But in her heart of hearts, Snow knew that wasn't true. There had been a time when Regina had loved her, truly loved her. She just didn't know what had changed.

The question caught Regina by surprise. As the words registered, running on a loop in Regina's head, she sat back, lost in thought. She thought back to the days of her marriage with Leopold, thought of his death, thought of her never-ending campaign to kill Snow. When had that campaign started? What had shifted in her that had caused her to hate her step-daughter? When had Regina stopped loving Snow.

She had no idea. And then, as she thought of her mother, something suddenly clicked inside of her. "As long as I could love, I loved you," Regina said, slightly louder than her last words.

There was a moment of silence between them.

"After Daniel died, I tried to learn magic so that I could bring him back. But I couldn't, because there is no cheating death. Or, at least, not once you're already dead," she added, thinking of her mother. Snow winced but said nothing. "When I knew that he was really gone, that there was no hope of us ever being together, all I felt was darkness. I thought my heart would never work again. It was black, shriveled. And my life was completely dark." She paused. "Except for you. You were the one light, the one thing that kept my heart from being consumed by my darkness. But then, one day, you grew up. You didn't need me anymore, and that light stopped being something that comforted me. It became something that mocked me, that mocked the constant darkness that I felt. And on that day, when I lost your light, my heart stopped beating, stopped working, and all the love that I felt for anything turned to hatred. I felt so weak on that day. After that, all I wanted was power, because then I would never have to feel weak again. I didn't remove my heart like my mother did, but I didn't have to. It was already gone."

Snow could sense that Regina was finished, and as the words registered with her, she realized that they made sense. "And now?" She asked before she could stop herself.

For the first time, Regina looked up and made eye contact with Snow. Instead of seeing the woman whose life she had made it her job to make miserable, she saw the little girl that she had rescued, a little girl who had lost her mother too early, who had wanted nothing more than for her stepmother to love her like her mother had.

Without saying anything, Snow leaned against her stepmother as she felt Regina's arms wrap around her. She put her head on Regina's shoulder as she listened to Regina's next words.

"Now? Now I realize that I never stopped loving you."


	2. Invited to Dinner

**Prompt: Snow invites Regina to dinner.**

* * *

"Maybe someday, they'll even invite you to dinner."

Looking up, Regina met Gold's eyes. She saw the maliciousness in them, but she saw something else too. Regret. Bitterness. And she knew that it had more to do with them than her. In that moment, as they stared at each other, she knew that he was just as upset by what had just happened as she was.

And then, as quickly as the moment had come, it was gone, and Gold put that mask back up, turning and hobbling from the room.

Sucking in a shaky breath, Regina looked down at the floor as tears filled her eyes. She could still feel Henry's hand in his, could still see him slip away to find comfort in Emma's arms, not giving her a second glance backwards. She knew then that the moment they had just shared meant far more to her than it had to him. At the end of the day, he would always have Emma. He didn't need her.

But who did she have? No one.

She was truly alone.

.~.

As they left the store, Snow glanced back at Regina. She saw the look of pain that crossed her step-mother's face as Henry hurried to Emma's side and walked out. As they left the store, Snow tried to forget the pain she had seen on Regina's face. She tried to forget the vulnerability she had seen there. It was easier to ignore it than face the idea that Regina had a heart left to be vulnerable. She had written away that idea long ago. It was easier to go on seeing Regina as nothing more than an evil queen.

But as hard as Snow tried to forget, she couldn't get Regina's face out of her head. As everyone entered Granny's diner, she lingered at the doorway. When Charming turned around and gave her a questioning look, she met his eyes. "I'll be right back. There's something I have to do," she said simply, turning and heading back to Gold's pawn shop.

The walk was quick, and soon she was outside of the shop. She hesitated at the door. Did she really want to do this? There was no turning back from this action. Maybe she had imagined it all. Maybe Regina had been putting on a show to trick them all into believing that she had changed.

But if that was true, and Regina was still the same old evil queen she had always been, why hadn't she let the portal kill them? It would have been easier. Yes, Henry would have never forgiven her, but she would be all he had left. And Regina finally would have been rid of the three people she least wanted in her son's life. Snow and Emma would be dead, and Charming would be forever trapped in that red room. And if Regina was truly still the same, nothing would have been able to stop her from taking that opportunity. After all, she had killed her own father to ruin Snow's happiness. Why would she think twice about alienating Henry? Unless she truly had changed, and she truly did care about Henry.

But even if she did truly care about Henry, that didn't change what she had done in the past. She was a murderer, a killer, an evil witch. She had placed a curse on their entire world to get revenge on Snow for something that had happened years ago. She had ruined so many lives, and the vulnerability that Snow had seen on her face didn't change that.

So there was the dilemma. Did she really want to risk the safety of everyone she loved by letting Regina back into their lives? Could Regina really change? Snow had once believed it, but Regina had changed her mind. Maybe her mind could be changed again.

The door opened, and Regina stepped outside, surprise crossing her face as her eyes fell on Snow. She froze, staring at Snow, speechless.

Snow opened her mouth, but no words came out. Looking into Regina's eyes, she still saw the vulnerability that she had seen a few moments earlier, and she knew that she had caught Regina off guard, before the woman had been able to place her mask back on. "I-"

Regina closed the door of the shop behind her and crossed her arms, obviously trying to put her guard back up. "Did you forget something?" She asked, cocking her head towards the shop.

"Um, no. At least, not something in there. I…"

"Yes?"

It was now or never.

"Regina, would you like to grab dinner with us?"

"Excuse me?"

Snow hesitated. "I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with us. I know Henry would be happy to have you there."

Regina stared at her stepdaughter, dumbfounded. Was she serious, or was this some sick joke? Better yet, was this some kind of test? Regina had a feeling that no matter what she did, she would never pass. "Is this some kind of test?"

Snow shook her head. "No. I just…I just wanted to ask. It's up to you whether or not you accept." She turned to leave, feeling herself harden against Regina.

"No, wait!"

She stopped and turned around, trying to ignore the flicker of hope that she saw flare up in Regina's eyes. Standing in front of her stepmother now, Snow was having a very difficult time seeing the evil queen that she was so used to. Right now, all Snow could see was a broken young woman who had lost everything that most mattered to her.

"I would love to come to dinner." Regina finally said.

Nodding, Snow paused to wait for Regina to fall into step with her. Together, they walked to the diner, to a new beginning.


End file.
